God's Miracle

This is a post I never imagined writing.

We have known for many years that getting pregnant without medical treatment was not possible. I have an ovarian disorder that prevents ovulation and thus no regular cycles. We had medical help getting pregnant with EJ and no luck since then. We have had extensive medical and genetic testing in order to improve our chances of getting pregnant. However, we have more babies in Heaven then we will ever hold in our arms on earth.

We are so grateful for EJ and the miracle that he is. He really fulfilled our long-held dream of being parents. He has brought great joy to our lives. A few years after he was born, we decided to try again and did more treatment. We’ve lost several babies in that time to miscarriage.

In June, I sat in the doctor's office (He's a top specialist in the field) and he said there's nothing more he could do for us. He said we could continue trying the same way we have been but we’ve exhausted the medical science available to date. Then the unbelievable happened. A mere two weeks after that meeting, I had conceived a baby boy without treatment!

Fast forward four months. We decided to try treatment one last time this year (simply for tax reasons) so I took a pregnancy test, which is a precursor to start taking the prescription hormones. When it came back positive my first thought was, “Oh man, why did I buy the cheapest one?!” Now I would have to have a blood test to confirm my hormonal levels which would be more hoops to jump through. I showed the test to Eric and he was in disbelief too. As confusion set in, he went to work and I went about finding a doctor who would run the blood work for me so I could get the results to my doctor and get going on treatment.

Two hours later, I was in an OB/Gyn office of an acquaintance here and their test also showed a positive for pregnancy. I started pacing the hallway as we waited for the ultrasound. Still, I couldn’t let my heart actually “go there” because it just had to be some hormonal problem.

The ultrasound was surreal. The doctor did a quick exam and said, “you’re pretty far along.” I said nothing (shock was setting in). The screen came to life and there was a little baby. Moving, waving, heart beating. I wept. Tears of shock and joy flowed down my cheeks as I saw the impossible become possible. At that point I was measuring at 16 weeks which give us a due date in March.

I got dressed, met with the doctor (who has no idea of my extensive medical history) and made an appointment for the next week. I took two ultrasound pictures to Eric’s work (he had EJ during all this) and I simply said, “Do you want to see your baby?” Now it was his turn to be in shock and awe. He just couldn’t believe it. Thankfully, he was able to come to the next appointment and see the little one for himself. He was so excited.

EJ is so excited about the baby and has named it “Hot Wheels” which has stuck. Nearly every day he talks to my belly and says, “You can come out now, baby!” He has no idea when March is so he’s in for a long wait. Our wait, however, isn’t nearly what it was with him which is the blessing of finding out nearly halfway through!

I’ve started feeling the baby flutter which brings joy to my heart. We are over the moon with excitement and still amazed at the miracle we are experiencing. After our second appointment I shared with Eric that I was having a hard time finding the words to say “thank you” to God for His great gift. Eric shared the sentiment. We’re both at a loss of how to show our gratitude to God. A few days later I was reading The Great House of God by Max Lucado, and I came upon a good way to show my gratitude. In this book, Lucado is writing on the Lord’s prayer. You know the one, “Our Father, who art in Heaven…” The book is his expository on each part of the prayer. It’s quite interesting. Here’s where I found my answer on how to show gratitude to God. Lucado writes,“There are times when to speak is to violate the moment…when silence represents the highest respect. The word for such a time is ‘reverence.’ The prayer for such times is “hallowed be thy name.” He goes on to say, “The word ‘hallowed’ comes from the word ‘holy,’ which means ‘to separate’…The Holy One dwells on a different level from the rest of us. What frightens us does not frighten Him. What troubles us does not trouble Him.” It reminded me of Matthew 19:26, which says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

My stubborn ovaries were no match for God. He wasn’t troubled by my test results or inability to get pregnant time and again. Being holy, he knows all and provided this gift out of his love and mercy for us. So, instead of shallow words, I’m trying to maintain a posture of reverence and when I just have to say something, it goes like this, “Hallowed be thy name.”