This is the last day of my pregnancy! It’s gone by so fast, which is the beauty of finding out you’re expecting when you are so far along. I have cherished this time in my life and despite some slight anemia and severe cramping here and there I haven’t had any troubles. My doctor said I’ve had great blood pressure, gained 17lbs between weeks 17-40, and I’ve had no swelling so this has been a completely different experience then I had the first time around. With E.J., I had high blood pressure, immense swelling and was on bed rest for several weeks. I don’t know how much weight I gained with that pregnancy since I switched doctors when we moved, but I know I had to lose 40 lbs to feel good again so that’s my best guess. I don’t know why the pregnancies were so different. A very busy 4 year-old might play a role, though. Thankfully, he will still take naps so the days when the anemia was bad we took some great naps together. I love snuggling with him and I hope that we can still do that from time to time when Jack gets here.
EJ is very excited to meet his little brother but he has no idea how much his world is about to change. He adapted so well to all of our travel over the years and he was a super star during our move to San Diego so I think he will do fine but I don’t think he will like “sharing” me. We are very close so it might be tough on him to not have my attention on demand. Thankfully, the first few weeks he will have my parents and Eric’s mom to keep him occupied.
Eric has been very busy with his new team. He likes his job but it requires long hours, seven days a week. I told him it was important to me to have him stay in the hospital with me and Jack so he has made arrangements to honor my wish even though he’s in the middle of the baseball season. He’s in San Francisco with his team this weekend and we only had one slight scare when I went through a series of contractions. They subsided so he didn’t have to come home early.
Thankfully, my parents are here and we kept busy with projects. My mom made a beautiful car seat cover and my dad has done several things between baking several batches of peanut butter cookies to satisfy my most recent sugar cravings.
I am trying to finish some work projects and keep up with the online classes I’m teaching. My students know that I will be unavailable while I’m in the hospital but I’ll be back to work when we get home. I won’t be taking a maternity leave as I can do my work while EJ is at school and the baby is sleeping. I’m still working on my dissertation at a snail’s pace but I haven’t given up yet.
A new name in our lives and to the blog is “Bob.” Bob Botsford is the pastor of the church we’ve been attending. His teaching speaks directly to my mind and my heart. His most recent teaching gave me a great perspective as I head into a new chapter in life. He was talking about the problem that happens when miraculous things get misrepresented. I have been experiencing that on a consistent basis as I’ve shared the story of my pregnancy with people over the past five months. Whether it’s an acquaintance or a stranger at the grocery store many times the person will diminish the fact that Jack is a miracle from God and give credit instead to “good timing,” “relaxing,” or the “stars aligning.” The reality is that I have a very thick medical record, a diagnosed disease and an “X” factor all attempting to explain why I have had such a hard time getting pregnant. Timing, relaxing and the universe don’t fit into that explanation. I am not sure if God has healed me physically or made the impossible possible, but either way it’s a miracle that points back to the Truth that God is full of mercy and capable of anything.
Bob recently said that “The signs, wonders and mighty deeds that God does in our lives are to signal to the man behind the miracle. We should not worship the “created,” instead, we should worship the Creator.” In other words, the meaning of miracles is to prove the Truth—the truth of God’s existence and love for us. The most important miracle has already been accomplished on the cross by Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. God conquered sin and death to give us eternal life and that is the ultimate and most satisfying enough. I am going to try to focus on that as I enter this new chapter in my life. In the next few weeks it will be tempting to focus only on my newborn and surviving the first few months with little sleep but I am going to try very hard to remember to keep my focus not on the miracle itself but on the miracle giver—God. I’m so thankful for God’s most important miracle for mankind and for His most recent miracle in my life. May He get all the credit and glory.
